


Christmas Is All Around

by BellatrixDraven



Series: Hotch and the Holidays [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Christmas fic, Fluff, Gen, honestly I need more fluff involving Hotch, so here it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-05-09 21:10:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5555471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellatrixDraven/pseuds/BellatrixDraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's your first Christmas with the BAU. and some of your new friends have nothing better to do than meddle in your affairs and try to make your secret Christmas wish come true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Christmas with the BAU was something you had been looking forward to, even if you were nervous. It would be your first time with them, they were your new family. You hoped Christmas with this family would prove happier than what you had growing up.   
"Hey, y/n!" You looked up as Morgan leaned on your desk.  
"Hello Morgan,"  
"Are you coming to the Christmas party?"  
"If my invitation hasn't been declined." You said drily. Morgan laughed.  
"Of course not, you're a new member of the team, we wouldn't shut you out."   
"So why ask?"  
"Well, we need to know if you're bringing someone with you. A plus one and all that, so we can get enough food and that sort of thing. Do you drink eggnog?"  
"Very rarely. And no, I haven't got a date." You sounded a little too bitter on that last part of that.  
"Never said a date. Could be a friend," Morgan picked up on it.   
"I don't have friends. I have you guys, that's it."   
"Well, we'll have to change that."  
"What?"  
"Me and Reid, we could take you out for drinks and help you find someone." He said it kindly, even as he looked over at Reid's desk. Reid looked up after a moment, mildly confused.   
"What?"   
"You'd be y/n's wingman, wouldn't you?"  
"Sure." Reid shoved some hair behind his ear and turned back to his work. Morgan looked back at you, grinning even wider.  
"Thanks, but no." You retorted.  
"JJ would help, if you're more comfortable with her."  
"Really Morgan, it's okay." You finish your notes and shove the file into the corner of your desk. "I'd rather stay by myself, wasting away as a lonely single agent."  
"Oooh, ho ho, is that because you've got an eye on someone here?" Morgan grins widely, before looking around at the office. "I'm going to assume that it's not me. Is it the genius? He's attractive enough."  
"No, I'm not crushing on anyone, and it's not like I'd tell you anyway. If this continues, this is going to be a not so jolly Christmas."  
"We're profilers. We'll find out. And don't worry, I'd never tell who it is, but I can arrange something."  
"Morgan, I mean this in the nicest way possible." You stood up, grabbing your coat and heading to the elevator. "Fuck off."  
"See you tomorrow y/n!"


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later and it's not just Morgan who regularly parks at your desk to talk. JJ spends time with you, mostly planning the Christmas party, but asking questions when she thinks you aren't paying attention. Questions like "what's your type?" and "okay so if you had to save someone from a night alone, would it be me or Reid?"  
"Neither JJ, and it's getting ridiculous. Whoever I enjoy company with is none of your business."  
"We just want you to be happy."  
"I'm happy. I'm perfectly happy. The only thing that'd make me happier would be-" you stopped yourself before you said something embarrassing, or even worse, get volatile.  
"Be what, y/n?" Hotch asked, coming up behind you, looking at those by your desk and back at you.  
"For everyone to leave me alone about my love life or lack there of." You said, even as your face grew warm. "Is that a case?"  
"Unfortunately. We're briefing in ten." Hotch stared at you for a moment, then at everyone. "Hope you all heard that, briefing in ten!"  
"What could it be this time?" JJ sighed, standing up and leaning over to her desk to grab a pen.  
"My money's on arson of churches." You muttered.  
"Spree killer," Reid said, passing by you. "And I'll put twenty dollars on that."  
"You're on geek boy." You smiled a bit as you headed to the briefing room. While you weren't glad that something warranted the FBI, you were glad for the distraction. The last thing you wanted in the week leading up to Christmas was people meddling in your affairs. You bounded up the stairs for the briefing.  
-  
"If everyone's settled, let's begin. Garcia?" Hotch glanced at you again, before focusing on the screen coming to life with pictures and files.  
"Right, so in North Carolina, there's been a series of deaths, the only similarities between bodies are the way that they were strangled." Garcia clicked her remote, and three pictures filled the screen. At first glance it looks like a regular strangulation, some sort of string, thin wire used to cut off air supply. It can't be that obvious though.  
"They were killed with Christmas lights." You didn't mean to say it out loud, although you can't be faulted for it. The look on Garcia's face only confirmed your guess.  
"That's right, this is Riley Jenkins, Thomas Hardy, and Jessica Lightoller, all of whom lived in the Raleigh area. However, the bodies were found way out of the city, instead in a park over an hour away. The bodies were cleaned up, nothing out of the ordinary except the marks left from their deaths, when they were found. Authorities called us in for two reasons. First one being, two more people have gone missing in the area, Kathy Reynolds and Janine Thompson."  
"They fit the type, young and athletic. What could the motive be?" Reid asked, looking at the file in front of him. The instrument of death was odd, you hadn't heard of Christmas lights being used as a weapon before, much less an aid in a murder.  
"No idea, as far as I can tell, these people all have different backgrounds, no connection to one another, and there was nothing missing in the home or from the person. And to make things a little bit creepier, when the bodies were stripped down for autopsy, these were found." Garcia shuddered before clicking to the next image.  
"Christmas carols carved into their backs." Rossi stared for a moment. "Well, that ruins everything about this holiday. why couldn't they do something like religious texts? Some sort of clue."  
"Maybe that is a clue." Reid said. "Maybe the killer is someone who doesn't call themselves a Christian or wants to point the focus back to the true meaning of Christmas."  
"Well I hate to point this out, but Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of Christ, not his death. If it were to celebrate Christ, even with killings, surely they'd do something more obvious?" You asked. No one had an answer, so you turned back to the different carols that had been used.  
"No one knows anything, that's why we're being called in. Wheels up in thirty." Hotch said, flicking his gaze from the screen to you. You did your best to hide the blush rising under your collar and left as soon as you could.  
-  
"You've got a thought about the killer?" You looked up at Hotch as he came by. The plane ride had been mostly quiet so far.  
"I don't think he's making a statement about Christmas. I don't know why, but if he were angry at Christianity, it'd make more sense to burn a church. Or if it had to be killing people, why aren't these bible verses?"  
"What do you think it is instead?" Morgan asked.  
"I don't know. Something obvious is staring at me, it's in these files." You looked back down to study the pictures, hoping that maybe something would jump out. Everyone else was just as quiet as the ride continued. When it was almost time to set down, Hotch split everyone into teams.  
"Morgan, you and Reid go talk to the ranger that found the bodies. JJ, you and Rossi go to the dump site, let's see if anything about that place seems significant. Y/N and I will go to the morgue, see if there's anything the coroner can tell us, and we'll see if the bodies yield anything that we missed in photographs." His look seemed too intent to be fair, but you didn't respond. You just wanted to solve the case and go back home before anything like the Krampus showed up.  
-  
"Here's the first victim." The coroner pulled back the sheet, not waiting for you to brace yourself. It wasn't a totally horrid sight, but it took a moment for you to bite back the nausea. "Name is Riley Jenkins, about twenty-three years old, was living with her partner, disappeared two days before the body showed up here."  
"Her partner?" You asked, looking at the file in confusion.  
"That's what the partner said. Riley was genderfluid, was ID'ing as female when she disappeared. It's not my place to say anything contrary, I just tell how they died."  
"Can we confirm the murder weapon was a string of Christmas lights?" Hotch asked, looking at the bruising. "It looks like three strands of wire, but I'm not sure."  
"Christmas lights makes a lot more sense than a triple layer garrote, or using a thick fishing wire wrapped around three times. Can't be too sure though, anything is possible." The coroner took another look at you, one eyebrow arched. "Is this your first case sunshine, because I'll go get you a trash can to puke in."  
"I'm fine." You muttered. You felt a little green but it wasn't a problem. "I've just never been in a morgue before."  
"Ah. Breathe through your mouth for now, I'll get you some Altoids when you leave."  
"Thanks. Can we roll Riley over, I want to examine her back."  
"Hold your breath." The coroner managed it with apparent ease. "I'll turn the others for you, then I'll be in my office handling the paperwork."  
"Just one last question," Hotch stopped her. "Strangulation is the official cause of death?"  
"That's right. All the carving on them, like they were some sort of turkey? That was all post-mortem, and even if it wasn't, the blood loss wouldn't have been very high. If the cuts were to kill them, it would've been because it lead to infection."  
"Did the killer go straight to post mortem carving?" You asked. It seemed surprising that the killer hadn't evolved, or rather, left trace of his evolution.  
"It appears so." And with that coroner finished turning the bodies, handed you the clipboard and left.  
"What do you think would be a weapon to cut without letting out the blood?" Hotch asked, picking up a pair of tweezers to lift some of the skin back.  
"It would have to be sharp, something so sharp that if the person were alive, they wouldn't feel pain."  
"You think a razor of some sort?"  
"No, it would have to be very sharp and it'd be a straight razor at that. If the killer used Christmas lights, I think he'd use a similar themed tool for the cutting."  
"Unless the Christmas lights were a tool of opportunity the first time, and he just kept them as evidence."  
"I don't think so. While strangulation wouldn't be hard to do, you'd still have to adjust your grip on something like Christmas lights, which twist around and are covered in bulbs. There's no sign on Riley that killer let up even for a moment to readjust. This was planned." You used your pen to point at Riley's throat while you talked.  
"So what would be the cutting tool?"  
"An ice pick." You looked up. "That's a deadly tool anyway, but that would definitely fit with easy access in winter, sharp enough to use.." you trailed off as Hotch stared for a moment.  
"That makes sense. We'll have to check with the coroner to see if something like that would match with the marks. What do you think of the chosen verse for his back?"  
"Her." You corrected him, startling yourself at the boldness.  
"Sorry. Her."  
"I don't know. It's from Jingle Bells, I know that." You looked at the cuts again. "Well, it doesn't reference Christmas, that could promo-" you stopped yourself. "That's it! That's the thing I was staring at. The verses are Christmas songs yes, but they don't reference Christmas. Look at this, it's just 'oh what fun it is to ride'. Jessica's back says 'boughs of holly' and Thomas Hardy has 'let it snow'. The killer is making a point about Christianity."   
"As good a hunch that is, we need more than this. We need some sort of evidence, and with any luck, the others will have found something. Let's go." He pulled the gloves off and turned away, leaving you confused but hurrying after. As you returned the clipboard to the coroner, she handed you a tin of Altoids.   
"Trust me sunshine, you'll need it if anything else happens."   



	3. Chapter 3

"Is there anything more definitive about the killer that we could have missed?" Morgan asked, rubbing between his eyes. So far nothing had come up. The ranger who discovered the bodies was useless, the crime scene itself wasn't yielding much. There had been a partial boot print, but it seemed like it would be too much to hope that it would be an actual clue.  
"All I've got is the lack of Christianity in the Christmas carols." You threw down your pen and groaned.  
"Maybe we're looking for a pagan?"  
"Don't they have this rule of 'harm none, do what you will'? Wouldn't that mean they're not the killing type?" JJ asked.  
"Christians have a 'love they neighbor' rule, but that hasn't stopped any of them." Reid replied, spinning his pen between his fingers, staring at the ceiling. "I'll go look into that, see if there's any covens in the area."  
"Do you we think that the killer would be part of it?" You asked. You were honestly beyond confused on this case.  
"Maybe not," Rossi pointed out. "But they may have been before hand, and someone may remember them."  
"Reid, you and Morgan look into the covens and see if anything comes up. I want Garcia double checking everything. Y/N, I want you researching the carols and seeing if anything possible pagan could come up. We need to check all possibilities." Hotch said. You made some sort of noise in agreement before standing to leave. "JJ, go with y/n."  
"Right."  
-  
"Paganism is big into plants right? 'Boughs of holly' for instance." JJ asked.  
"Maybe, but that's only one lyric." You replied, rubbing your eye. It was exhausting looking through all the information.  
"Wonder what the deal with mistletoe is." You could hear the gentle teasing in her voice. You looked up at her, unamused, even as you felt some warmth rise to your face. "Bet we'll find out your deal with mistletoe."  
"I'm not fond of it. It kills trees." You managed to get the retort out without your voice shaking too.  
"Come on, if you're so against one of us helping you get a date, one would assume you've got a crush on one of us."  
"If you think I'm going to meet one of you under the mistletoe by choice, you've got another idea coming." You snapped, face hot and your fists clenching anxiously. "Not that you're terrible people, but I prefer to maintain a strictly professional relationship with all of you, but least of all Ho-" you cut yourself off before you finished the sentence, and tried to cover it with a cough.

"Least of all who?" JJ's eyes twinkled and she was practically beaming.  
"Tell you what, we get the guy before Christmas, I'll tell you." You muttered, swiveling back to your book. "But that's only if it's before Christmas."  
"I feel like you've got something to prove."  
"JJ, we've only got two days before Christmas, I'm not expecting us to find the other women or the unsub, that's a bit unrealistic..." you trailed off as you read the pages in front of you. "I found something. Mistletoe has a meaning of fertility, that's why we kiss under it, but it was also seen as sacred and could grant life."  
"Sounds pagan to me." She replied, looking over your shoulder. "But that's something to tell the others. Holly represents the energy of life, we're on to something, I'll call Hotch and let him know." JJ went into the hall, leaving you to continue researching and take notes. She hadn't been gone long enough to finish a call when your phone buzzed.  
"Hello?"  
"Is this y/n? It's the coroner. We've got another one. Janine Thompson showed up dead, this time part of the blade was left in her body. Message is a little bit different this time, it's not a piece of poetry. Can you come down?"  
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."  
"Thanks." The phone clicked off, and you sat for a moment in stunned silence. You had been hoping that you'd get to Janine and Kathy before anything had happened, despite what you had just said to JJ.  
"Y/N, is something wrong?"  
"Janine's body was found, the coroner called. I'm going to go look at the body."  
"Where's the scene?"   
"The park I'd assume, call Hotch back, I'm heading to the morgue to look at photos." Your voice was shaking a little, as were your hands.   
"No problem, I'll give you a ride down there. Do you want someone with you?"   
"I think I can handle this, but if I'm not back in an hour or so, or if I haven't called, I guess send someone. Hotch or Reid, if they aren't at the crime scene."   
"Alright, let's go."   



	4. Chapter 4

When you arrived at the morgue you didn't see another body on the table, or a new file to look at. The coroner was nowhere to be found either, but you went to her office anyway, looking for a note of any sort. It was colder than you remembered. You felt your eyes grows heavy after a few minutes, and slowly you drifted to sleep. It was cold enough to keep you sedated, but not cold enough to make you wake with chills.  
You woke up hours later, the windows showed it to be almost completely black outside. You swore under your breath, scrambling to get your jacket back on, before stopping when you didn't feel the weight of your gun against your lower back. You looked down to see if it had fallen out of the holster on the ground, when you heard the click and felt it against the base of your skull. You stopped, hands still half hung in the air.  
"Oh, I was wondering if you'd fall for the trick, y/n." The coroner said, keeping the gun pressed close. "You've got to be new, who goes straight to the morgue after a body turns up? There should've been a crime scene. But I have you now, and so you're going to listen to me, very carefully."  
You sighed and kept your hands up, letting her keep control. "Do I want to know what happens if I don't?" "You'll have to find out. Having you is a good idea, although the other one would've been just as good. He looked like he'd be fun to torment, what was his name, Hotchkiss?" You can hear the smirk in her voice and have to swallow back some disgust. "Hotchner."

"Close enough. I don't think he would've fallen for it though. Now, it's been a few hours, they must be wondering where you are. Call them, tell them it's fine, and not to come looking for you." She presses the gun against your skull harder, making you wince. "I don't want to ask twice on anything, now move it."

You fumble for the phone on her desk, taking a moment to remember the anonymous hotline they had put out, and typed it in as slowly as you dared. The receiver felt warm in your hand, and as it rang, you kept waiting for the trigger to click. Finally someone picked up, a bit too formal to be any of your coworkers.  
"BAU hotline, what can I do for you?"  
"Is one of the agents available?"  
"If you have news, you can tell it to me and I'll see if it's what they're looking for." You knew the line was being recorded, and that you were probably on speaker. You could almost imagine the way Hotch would be leaning in, one hand curled under his chin. You closed your eyes, heart pounding. That might the last image of him you would get.  
"I'm y/n," you stammered out. "Tell one of them that I'm fine, and not to come looking for me." Your breath caught in your throat, and you could feel tears sticking to your lashes. "Tell them to keep an eye out for holly, mistletoe, and-" you didn't know all the pagan plants. You could remember something in the book, if only- "and branches of yew." The barrel of the gun moved from the base of your skull, and you realized too late what was happening. It collided with the side of your head, and an explosion of pain smarted over your right eye. You dropped the receiver, hunched over, trying to refocus, manage the pain. "Can you repeat your name?" "Y/N, I'm part of the BAU, and tell them not to come looking for me." The coroner had picked up the phone and answered clearly, and then pressed the cradle to set off a dial tone. She turned back to you, tilting her head to watch you as you tried to stand. Blood trickled between your fingers, and was sticking in your hair and eyebrow. A drop ran from the corner of your eye, almost as if you were crying blood. "What?" Your voice was gruff, and now that you didn't have the gun touching your head, you weren't scared as much. You were angry. They had always told you to fight your opponent, until you were in their control, then you did whatever they wanted. That's how you stayed alive. Unfortunately, you weren't feeling like playing by the rules, and you could almost imagine Rossi muttering about how foolish an idea this was. "I gave you a specific set of instructions." "You didn't tell me it was all I could say." You snapped back. You stood, perusing the room for anything that could be a bandage to help staunch the flow of blood. You landed on a box of gauze and started toward it. The coroner lifted the gun, level with your chest and made you stop. "You can think you're witty and clever, but I'm the one in control here. You might be the pretty, naive little FBI agent, but I've got the gun." "Yeah, whatever bitch. You know head wounds bleed a lot too, so you better let me have some gauze if you want me alive as a trading point." She hesitated, and lowered the gun. You picked up a wad, and held it to your temple, and struggled one handed, to get the masking tape off the desk.

"Tape it down. We're going on a little road trip." You fixed the gauze down and looked at her again. You needed the memorize every detail that you could, just in case you had time to get away or make a call. Her hair was brown, tied back and wearing a baseball cap to hide her face. Dark eyes, and her face was etched in a permanent scowl. It deepened as she realized you weren't moving. "I said come on sweetheart. I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day." She shoved a handkerchief at you, motioning to wipe the blood off your face, and moved to let you use a mirror. Cautiously, you brought the handkerchief up and started dabbing at the blood trails, before recognizing the sickly scent of chloroform. You started to throw it away, but suddenly she was behind you, forcing it against your mouth. You struggled, trying not to breathe, but panic burned more oxygen and you didn't have a choice. Your vision blacked out and you fell to the ground, like a marionette who's strings had been cut.


	5. Chapter 5

You woke up in the back of a van. Panic started to rise, and it took everything in you to calm down. The van was moving, but there weren't windows in the back. Probably a coroner's van. You were strapped down, on some sort of gurney, if the rattling was any indication. You could feel your wallet in your front pocket, and you only hoped that she hadn't removed your forms of ID. As the van turned a corner and bounced a little too hard, you could feel something in your back pocket shift and clatter to the floor. It had to be your phone. If you could loosen one of the straps and grab it, you might be able to call Morgan or someone.

They were bound tight, scraping your skin raw as you struggled. You felt one on each knee, one around your hips, one around your chest, and two on each arm. Every time you moved it seemed to grow tighter, and you were gritting your teeth. You were trapped, and this was all because you were stupid enough to go alone to the morgue. The van continued to bump and turn corners too fast. One was a little too rough, lifting the gurney and letting it slam back down. You winced in pain, but as you moved your arm to try and release some pressure on your shoulder, you managed to slide out of the strap. You waited a moment as the van seemed to slow down, idling for a moment. You squeezed your eyes tight, hoping against hope that it was just a stop light, not that the drive was finished. It was silent beyond the idling, and you felt your heart pound against your ribcage waiting. The van began to move again, at much slower speed, and you scrambled to undo the straps. You sat up, lurching for your phone. Your head was bleeding again, and you were aware of a very possible concussion, but that could wait.

You dialed Morgan, hoping he'd pick up. Four rings, and you were directed to voicemail. You hung up, trying Garcia.

"Hello, my sweet little net of sunshine, what can I do for you?"

"Garcia, it's me. I need you to put a trace on the number I'm calling from."

"Why?"  
"Just do it okay? I'm with the unsub."  
"Following or-?" Her voice sounded concerned, and you could hear the clacking of her keyboard.   
"Hostage situation. If I stay in any place longer than ten minutes, get the team out here. Unsub is armed and dangerous."  
"Do you know a name?"  
"I don't remember, but it's the coroner. Hotch was with me, he'll know." You hang up before she can say anything else. You delete the call from your history, shove it in some unreachable place from the cot, and lay back. You don't bother with straps because you want as much of an advantage as you can get. The van slows down a few minutes later, pulling to a complete stop. Amid the sudden silence of the car, you hear the call of birds and snapping of ice off of branches. Without warning, the doors to the van slam open, and you're blinded by the sunlight.   
"Looks like you're awake. That makes this so much easier. Get up, I know the straps are undone." Her voice was colder than the ice cracking around her. You took a moment to adjust to the light and stumbled out of the van. All of you was sore, aching, and the blood was sticking to your hair and knuckles. "Come with me."  
"Where are we?"  
"I think we both know that Agent." She gestured with the gun around you, and you realized it wasn't just a woodline, but the middle of the woods. Distantly you could hear the sounds of rusty swings, and the occasional shriek of a child.  
"You won't kill me with witnesses around, surely you aren't that stupid." You couldn't even manage a biting tone, but it was enough for her to raise the gun, ready to hit you again.  
"Oh no, I wouldn't do that. But they'll be gone soon, I told one of the rangers there was a predator out there, and I had found blood. The park is closing."  
"They'll find you."  
"I know these woods and where to hide. Follow me, obey my orders."  
"Why?" You were weak, head pounding and you weren't ready for a fight. But you were still angry, still trying to bait her, anything to buy more time and piss her off.  
She tilted her head, turned the safety off and aimed at your leg. "If you want to keep the other two girls alive, you'll listen to me. Next question, I shoot you in the calf. You'll be in pain, you'll limp, but you'll live."  
"You won't kill me then." You grinned, a bit on the manic side. "Why the pagan carols?"  
"Because people need to learn." She pursed her lips, analyzing you. "Get on it, we have a bit of a walk." She motioned you forward with the gun, and you let her guide you. It was so cold your nose was burning with every inhale, and the skin on your lips had split and blood dripped down your chin. You lost track of the turns and hills you climbed. You were only aware of the pounding headache and the aching cold. Another step, and suddenly your legs went out from under you, and you slammed on the ground again. Sticks scraped at your face, stones bruising your arms and neck, and you felt a new wave of agony. You tried to push yourself up, anything at all to get off of the icy ground.   
"Slip up there?"  
"No offense," you snapped. "But I'm still a little bit drugged and my blood sugar is low, and it's extremely fucking cold. Cut me some slack."   
"Get up. Face me." She snarled. You managed to push yourself up to your knees. Your hands were pale, the blood seemed to have stopped circulating. A deep breath, and you forced yourself over and to stand. Pain washed over you again, as your leg buckled. You looked up through your lashes, and waited.  
"What do you want?"  
"Can't you stand?"  
"I think I broke my ankle, so no, I can't." You put weight on the leg again, and struggled not to black out from the pain. While the blacking out could be managed, the vomiting could not, and you fell again as your stomach emptied. Everything was spinning, the world felt like a too fast carousel. Finally you forced yourself up, forcing deep breaths, and stared at the unsub. Her face was drawn and tight, and her eyes were angry for a moment, before becoming emotionless.   
"I promised you something. Maybe it'll take your mind off the pain in your ankle." Her voice was empty, and you had just enough time to realize what she meant. She lifted the gun, and you immediately dodged. The first bullet missed, hitting the tree just above your head. Surely that would alert the team, anything to tell them which direction. You forced yourself up onto the closest rock, biting your lip to keep from screaming as your leg was hit against the jagged edges. The second bullet whizzed by, a breath above your shoulder. You took a deep breath and waited for the third shot.   
Fire ripped through the flesh just under your collarbone. You lurched back, shrieking at the top of your lungs. It was childish in a way, but it hurt and you needed the team to find you. You stumbled back, slipping again, and crashing on your back. The screams stopped, you needed air. Blood was pouring down your shirt, making it cling to your skin. The coroner was yelling at you, but the sound seemed distant. You tried to pressure the wound, just to slow the bleeding a little bit. It was too much, too much blood, too much pain, too cold.   
Your vision spun and went black. You were tired, so tired, and you let your eyes close. Distantly you could hear the unsub scrabbling to get to you, she was close by the sounds of the gun scraping on rock. And just a moment after that, as the blood loss set in, you thought you could hear Reid's voice. And then you were gone.


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn't as cold. That was the first thing you realized as you woke up. You still hurt, everywhere really, but it was more manageable.  
"Is the Sleeping Beauty awake?"  
"Fuck off Morgan," you groaned, but you couldn't hold back the smile.  
"Glad you're awake, I was just about to send someone to fetch Hotch and try the True Love's Kiss."  
"Derek, I swear to god." You forced your eyes open and struggled to sit up, just so you could properly glare at him. He laughed a bit, before leaning forward.   
"You didn't deny it."   
"Once I'm out of this hospital bed, I'm going to strangle you with a length of tinsel."   
"Sure thing sweetheart, I'll be waiting." He helped you sit up properly, and then turned to get your food. You could see green jello and something that was probably meant to be tomato soup, and a carton of orange juice.   
"They sure try to make it seem inviting and tasty here, don't they?" You tried to laugh, and ended up coughing and splitting your lip open again. "What a joyous Christmas."   
"We don't mind. We have you safe and alive, and the unsub was arrested. Janine and Kathy were found. That's a Christmas we can all live with." Morgan replied, smiling at you. "So how long on Hotch?"   
"Don't you have anything better to do?" You grumbled, fumbling with the orange juice. It was the only thing that seemed remotely appetizing and you wondered if you could swap jello for more of it. After three failed attempts, you held the carton out to Morgan with a slight pout. "Please?"   
"Nope, we're on rotation to keep an eye on you. JJ went first, then Reid. I've got the next fifteen minutes, then it's Garcia, followed by Rossi and finally, Hotch." He couldn't seem to stop smiling, even as your face got crankier.   
"Who's idea was that?" You muttered bitingly. "Please open the juice, Morgan, I'm dying here."   
"Sure thing love." He opens it easily and hands it back to you. "Now, tell me, how long have you crushed on Hotch?"   
"Fuck if I know, it just happened." The juice tasted like heaven. The right amount of tart and pulpy and sweet, god you never wanted anything else again. "I was watching him button the cuff on his shirt, I saw him sorting through papers, the vest and sleeves rolled up on a mission. It was just a thing that happened."   
"And you're here in time for Christmas, something could easily be arranged."   
"I mean this nicely Morgan, but if you even think of mistletoe, I reserve the right to crack you one with a bottle of wine."   
"No mistletoe, I promise. Eat something, you can't just have juice."   
"Yes I can." Still a bit mulish, you refused to touch the wobbly green Jello, especially as you noted a few grapes suspended in it. You instead turned to try and look at the IV stand. Half of a saline bag hung above you, and beyond that on the window, you could see little snowman stickers.   
"What have you got against one date with Hotch? I'd think you'd jump at the chance." Morgan said. You flicked your gaze back over to him and shrugged.   
"Don't date coworkers. It's just a good rule of thumb Derek. What if it all goes to shit, you have to deal with them. Professionalism and crushes don't mix." You reached up to scratch a shoulder blade and felt a padded bandage. "Derek?"   
"Yeah?"   
"What's wrong with my back? I didn't do anything but bruise it badly, I only fell."   
"Oh. About that-" he was interrupted as Garcia breezed in, her hair in a golden curly halo, and a rather shocking tangerine jacket over her shoulders.   
"You're awake! We were getting worried, how are you feeling?"   
"Like death warmed over. I don't suppose you snuck real food in?" You croaked. It felt good to see Garcia, and you couldn't help the smile on your face. She smiled back.   
"I could only get a little, but I have chocolate for you."   
"Garcia you're a saint, gimme." You made grabby hands, which made her laugh and even Morgan smiled. He stood up and kissed your forehead lightly.   
"Take care, don't let our favorite tech wizard get you tired out. I'll get the rest of the guys in here in ten."   
"Thanks Morgan." He just waved it off and left. You settled back in bed, watching as Garcia pulled the chair closer to your bed. She pulled out a small Hershey's kiss, unwrapped it and handed it to you.   
"That first, to see if you can handle it. Sometimes the medicine is gross, so no point in a lot if you're just going to be sick."   
"You're a saint." You repeated, placing the candy in your mouth. It was sweet, and it tasted like ecstasy. You grinned at Garcia, and watched as she smiled back. "Garcia, can you tell me what's wrong with my back?"   
"What do you mean?" She looked almost guilty, and wouldn't meet your eyes.   
"Garcia, what happened to me?"   
"Well, Reid got to you first. You were bleeding out and you were so pale, and cold. He tried to get pressure on the wounds and he and Morgan got you down. But you lost a lot of blood and we weren't sure you'd make it. Hotch was in the ambulance with you, while they tried to stabilize you. You were in surgery for hours, and JJ donated blood, and it was awful. But the worst part, well-" she stopped talking and looked at her hands, picking at nail polish. Her vivacious attitude was gone, just like a light had been flicked off.   
"Garcia, what is it, tell me." You forced yourself to sit up, and winced as the bandages pulled on your skin.   
"You were intended to be the last victim. The unsub carved into your back." She looked up, her eyes surprisingly dry but with her lip trembling. It felt like the blood was draining from your face. "Y/n, are you okay? Y/n?"   
"Wh-" you cleared your throat. "What did she carve?"   
"She used 'Joy to the World' as your song."   
"Shit." It felt broken as you said, and you flopped back into the mattress. Part of you wanted to cry, but mostly it just felt strangely empty. "Scarring or will it fade?"   
"Rossi said you could get a badass tattoo like Prentiss probably has. Minimal scarring expected." Garcia said. There wasn't much time to say anything else as the rest of the team came in, looking a bit worse for wear but happy you were awake. You pasted a smile on and greeted everyone, holding Reid's hand when he came over, and glancing quickly at Hotch. That's when the scarring faded in your mind, because he was looking at you with the lightest smile you had ever seen, but you could see the relief in his eyes.   
"Glad you're awake and okay y/n." He said, coming forward to greet you. You pushed yourself up again, and instead of taking his hand, you hugged him.   
"Thank you." You whispered in his ear.   



	7. Chapter 7

You were ready to get out of the hospital. You wanted real food and to finish the paperwork, and get on with the matter.   
"Come on Rossi, please, you can convince them." You whined. "Just for Christmas."  
"No." He flipped a newspaper open so he couldn't see your face. "It's not allowed, and that's not even the hospital's choice."  
"Who?" You sat up, pulling at the IV cords. "Who decided that?"  
"Hotch. And you didn't hear it from me. I think it's JJ's turn soon." Rossi lifted the paper higher and sank in his chair, avoiding you completely.   
"I'm gonna kill him." You groaned and flopped back into the mattress. "Rossi, it's Christmas. I don't even celebrate it that much, but I'm dying to get out and do something. It's Christmas Eve, Rossi."  
"Not my choice, look if I could, I'd sign you out and we'd be heading back to DC."  
"Can I see Hotch about this decision, I'll petition and protest it until he feels like he's listening to a filibuster."   
"I'd rather not." Hotch said, coming into the room. "I'll take over Rossi."  
"All yours, y/n is being a handful." Rossi stood up quickly, winked at you behind Hotch's back, and left. Hotch took a moment to look you over before taking Rossi's seat.   
"How're you doing?"  
"Miserable. I'd kill to have some real food. Tomatoes for instant. I never thought I'd have a craving for tomatoes, but that sounds amazing. Or onion rings. Not that that's real food, but anything would be better than grape Jello with half suspended peeled green grapes. Who decided that would be a good thing?"  
"I'll see if you can have something slightly more edible." Hotch grinned for a moment. "What about your health?"  
"I'm tired and bruised. Probably won't be good for training with Morgan for a while. The cuts on my back hurt like a bitch, but the nurse is optimistic. Says I probably won't even scar much."  
"That's great."  
"Yeah." You turned to look at him, seeing how he's holding up. "What about you?"  
"Exhausted. But I'm glad you're okay."  
"Oh, it could've been worse, I'll be fine in a few weeks." You brushed it off.  
"Doesn't stop me from worrying. You're my team member." He said, reaching out to grab your hand. You tried to smile, even as you hurt from the comment. It wasn't surprising that Hotch didn't like you in the same ways you liked him. But apparently some part of you had kept a little bit of hope, and it was quashed now.  
"Yeah, at least it wasn't Reid. He deserves a break from hospital food."  
"Unlike you, he likes Jello." Hotch said with a laugh. "He's offered to eat yours when you don't."  
"He can have all of it, consider it a gift."   
"Y/N-"  
"Hotch-" you said at the same time. You blushed and motioned for him to continue. "You first."  
"No, you, it's nothing."  
"Really Hotch, it's nothing, just go ahead."  
"Hotch?" JJ leaned in the doorway, her voice soft. "Sorry, but we need you out front for a final review with the sheriff. And there's a call from Strauss."  
"I'll be there in just a second." Hotch told her. She nodded and ducked back out, her ponytail swishing. He sighed and stood up. "You should get some sleep y/n."  
"Right." You sank into the sheets and gave a halfhearted wave as he left. You could still feel his smile and smell his cologne, and that was a small comfort as you went to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

You were free. Well, not exactly since you were required to take time off and rest. Rossi and Hotch had both insisted on it, and Garcia had threatened to block your ID so you couldn't get to work early in case you wanted to skip on the rest. But you were out of the hospital and back in DC, and that was close enough to freedom, even if you weren't allowed back at work.   
"Earth to y/n," Morgan waved a hand in front of your face.  
"Oh sorry, what?" You blinked, shaking your head. You were waiting outside the elevator, ready to go home and sleep for a week.   
"I asked if you wanted to come over for New Year's. Since we missed the Christmas party. I still have eggnog for you, and you can celebrate with us as the new year comes in."  
"We?"  
"Me, Garcia and Reid. And you, if you want to creep from your apartment."  
"Yeah, I'll be there." You grinned. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." You hugged him one armed and stepped into the elevator. "You coming?"  
"No, I got to grab something from Garcia's office that she forgot, but I'll send you a message about the meet up. See ya sunshine." He winked and you rolled your eyes at him giving a cheery wave.  
"Hold the door-" Hotch stepped around Morgan, trying to reach the elevator before it closed completely. You shoved your arm in front of the doors, wincing as you pulled the bandage on your shoulder yet again. You offered a slightly awkward smile as the doors reopened and let your boss in. "Thanks."  
"Not a problem sir." You looked down at your shoes as the elevator jolted and then sank. "Any plans for a late Christmas?"  
"Not particularly, I'm like Rossi, not a big holiday person. Not anymore anyway. I'll send something to Jack, and let everyone take the new year off, and probably spend more time asleep than anything. You?" He seemed to smile and you looked up again with a shrug.  
"Never had much of a plan, my highlight would've been the party Morgan invited me to. I'm not very social, so it probably is going to end up being me, a bottle of cider and reruns of Rudolph until I fall asleep." The doors opened and you stepped forward to leave, only to have Hotch hold you back.  
"Look, y/n, I'm sorry about the incident in North Carolina, and it obviously took a lot of joy from the holiday season."  
"It's not your fault Hotch, I should've had backup instead of going in like a hero. Like I said, not much of a celebrator anyway." You pulled away from Hotch's grip slowly, even though you liked the feeling of him touching you. "I did something stupid, and it's only myself to blame. But it's alright, at least I got a cool scar out of it. I've got to go, my cat is probably most upset I'm late." With a quick nod, you turned away, ready to drive home and sit in a warm bed with a cat and something that vaguely resembled Christmas cheer.   
"Oh, and Hotch?" You turned around again, calling his name as he went the opposite direction.  
"Yeah?"  
"Morgan is hosting a New Year's party, you should come." You felt your cheeks burn as you invited him, and you shrugged it off. "I mean, if you want to and aren't with Jack. Happy holidays." You shoved your hands in your pockets and turned away one last time, and started toward your car, toward the cozy idea of home. What you had missed was a quick flicker of a grin on Hotch's face, and the slight pink on his cheeks as you invited him along.


	9. Chapter 9

"You're here!!" Garcia squealed, clapping her hands excitedly as she motioned you into Morgan's place.   
"Of course I am, I wouldn't miss it for the world." You hugged her carefully, trying to avoid the bandages peeling on your back. "You look wonderful." Her dress was patterned with flowers and stars, and her hair was in a simple ponytail. She still had the bright colors, pink and blue this time, and very shiny jewelry around her neck.  
"So do you," she smiled.   
"Hardly party material, but thanks." You looked down at your jeans and huge sweater, which had been chosen for ease and comfort over appearances. The sweater was probably too old to wear out anymore, but it was comfortable and didn't catch on the tape that held the cotton pads in place over your collarbone. "I still have stuff in my car, can you help me with it?"  
"Actually, I'm helping Morgan in the kitchen but I'll get Reid to help you." She kissed your cheek with a loud smack, leaving a trace of gooey peach lipstick before tottering to Reid. He was in a rather ugly sweater vest and was trying to set up the television properly. "Spence, can you help y/n?"  
"Uh.."  
"I'll get it, don't worry, I'll just make a couple of trips. No peeking in what I bring up." You aimed that at Morgan who just grinned and flicked a chocolate covered spoon at you. You stepped outside, reveling in the lights around the city. It was beautiful and almost peaceful. You managed to get most of the bags from your car with no problem, only to drop them as someone came into your peripheral vision.  
"You need anything?"  
"Hotch, Christ, you gave me a heart attack." You mock-glared at him before leaning down to pick up the bags. "I was just getting the presents for everyone."  
"Presents?" He raised an eyebrow and helped with the bags, closing the trunk behind you.   
"Belated Christmas. I thought it would be nice, and it might distract Morgan and JJ from trying to-" you shut up abruptly and felt yourself turn hot and red.  
"Distract them from what?"  
"New year's kisses." You hoped it was passive enough. With that, you put on another cheery grin and headed back inside. "I found a Hotch and there's presents for everyone after we all get here."  
"Presents?" Reid looked up excitedly. "What sort?"  
"You'll find out magic boy," you laughed.   
"Have some eggnog, close the door and we'll get on great." Morgan waved another spoon at you. "Set the presents on the couch y/n and relax."  
"Yeah right, with you around?" You joked, as you swept by Reid and deposited the presents on the end of the couch. "No touching Reid, it's a surprise."  
"I'm not twelve."  
"Well, shit, then you won't like my present for you." You moved to take his bag back, before he interrupted.  
"No, no I like it, it's fine."  
"Right." You tossed it at him gently.   
"Hey, hey." Garcia tugged at your arm. "You're going to kiss him right?"  
"What?" You hissed. "God, keep it down, no, I'm not."  
"Why not?"  
"Garcia, you're not making me answer that while he's three feet away. The only way it's happening is if we draw each other's name for seven minutes in heaven, god, what are we, giggling thirteen year olds?"   
"Oh come on."  
"You could offer me a million dollars and I'd still say no." You shrugged her off and went to Morgan. "if you give me a sample of whatever you're baking, I'll love you forever."  
"Open up, this is some form of chocolate caramel sin." He offered a spoonful and you took it carefully. It was a bit sinful, the right amount of sweet and bitter from dark chocolate. "What's the verdict?"  
"If you ever make a cake with this flavor, you'll get a proposal from me on the spot."  
"I'll look for it doll." He winked at you and waved you away. "I'm a little busy for banter, go annoy Hotch."  
"What?" Hotch looked up.  
"I'm supposed to annoy you." You told him, arching one eyebrow.   
"Terrific. Come on," he just motioned for you to join him down the hallway.   
"Hotch, what are we doing?"  
"Here, I brought you some cider. Don't want to share with the others." He handed you a bottle and smiled. "I was also wondering-"  
"Hotch I-" you interrupted. "I just want to ask what this is all about?"  
"It's New Year's. I figured it should go out with a proper farewell."   
"I- what?"  
"Countdown in five-" Garcia called down the hall.  
"Four," Morgan shouted.  
"Three-" Reid continued gleefully.  
"Two!" JJ called as she came in, laughing brightly.  
"One." Hotch whispered. You stared at him, feeling like your heart was about to stop, and you swallowed nervously. Then you threw caution to the wind, dropping your bottle of cider and grabbing at Hotch's shoulders. You had a split second to reconsider, and for a fraction of that second, you thought about it. You really did, because this was going to change everything. But it was a new year and it didn't matter, things could be forgiven.  
"Happy new year." You said, just before you closed the gap between you.


	10. Chapter 10

The first thing you're aware of is that he's incredibly firm and warm. His mouth is soft, and you feel almost a sort of buzzing in your veins. He pulled you closer, and it felt nice, close to be in the moment. After a moment, you both pulled away and for a heartbeat, you panicked, thinking you had crossed far too many boundaries.  
"Fuck, I'm sorry Hotch."  
"Don't be. It was nice." He said quickly. "I just, I wasn't aware that you, well.."  
"It was obvious after a while. The whole team was trying to get me to make a move. Guess they finally succeeded." You laughed shortly. "But that was so unprofessional, I shouldn't have-"  
"It was nice. I'd like to do that again, if you don't mind." He was close, his eyes dark and beautiful. You nodded and moved to meet him halfway, melting into the kiss as soon as it started. Languid, nice, soft. Eventually you both pull away again, and you grinned again.  
"Thank you. That was nice."  
"I think so."  
"I'm going to go back and give everyone presents. Come on." You tugged at his hand, and pulled him to the living room. "Happy new year's everyone." You beamed. "Present time."  
"Yes!" Reid punched the air. "Can I go first?"  
"Sure magic boy." You said as you flopped on the couch. "Red bag."  
He grabbed it happily, and everyone crowded around. He ripped apart the tissue paper and looked at the box for a moment. "Y/N, THIS IS AMAZING." He leaned over to hug you, a little too hard as he scraped over your healing back. "This is nice."  
"Show us genius." Morgan laughed.  
"It's an astronomy kit. Tanks to remove air to show how bodies perform without suits, and that sort of thing. It's cheesy, but it's fun and I can show it off to Henry. And there's a magic kit too." Reid showed the group proudly.  
"You like that sort of thing?"  
"I told you it was a twelve year old gift." You snorted. "Morgan your turn." You handed him a yellow bag. He took it with a raised eyebrow. He carefully unfolded the paper.  
"Wow."  
"Suck it up big guy." You laughed. "Show everyone."  
"It's a sweater. An ugly one at that." He flips it around to show everyone, and JJ gives a small scream of laughter. It's maroon, with a reindeer head and a necklace of jingle bells. There's a set of upset eyebrows on it's face, and underneath in bright green letters reads 'ho ho no' and it's actually one of the ugliest sweaters ever. "Alright, I deserve this." He tugs it on and bows as everyone laughed. "JJ, let's see what you've got."  
A green bag and a pile of tissue paper later, she's biting back tears. She simply holds up a knitted pillow, with an embroidered fox and the words "clever, cunning and above the rest, a fox is simply the best." She smiled and leaned over to hug you gently, trying not to cry. "This is beautiful, thank you. How did you even know?"  
"Lucky guess. Will confirmed it, and I knew you had been having some really bad times alone. I figured you wanted a nice thing."  
"Thank you." She hugged it close and moved to sit beside you. "Alright, Garcia."  
"Right." She picks up the pink bag and haphazardly ripped the tissue paper apart in a cascade of lime and fuschia tendrils. "Is this?"  
"Customized sonic screwdriver, doubles as a remote and car lock." You shrugged. "I saw your phone wallpaper of you and Reid at the con. I just did what I could. Have fun nerd."  
"This is beautiful, oh my gosh, y/n." She gave you a sticky kiss and tight hug. "I'll treasure it forever."  
"I'll go next." Rossi said. He hovered over the black bag, and you nodded. "It feels heavy." He didn't even have to unwrap the paper, to find a bottle of wine. "Ooh, nice year. This must've cost you a fortune."  
"Not really, I called in a favor." You replied. "There's something else."  
"I feel it." He set the bottle down and reached to the bottom of the bag. He raised an eyebrow and pulled out a book. "Oh, this is heavy and nice."  
"Just a collection of Italian stories. It reminded me of you."  
"Thanks." He cracked it open to check the table of contents. "Oh, this is a rare one,"  
"Oh, even better."  
"It's Hotch's turn," JJ sang. There was only one bag left, white and silver.  
He took a moment to push the paper aside, not ripping or unwrapping it. He pulled out a snowglobe, the scene of forest and lamp, like Narnia. You shrunk into yourself as you waited for the verdict. He smiled and twisted the key, letting Pachelbel's Canon play as he put it on the coffee table. Glitter and confetti flakes floated down in the globe, and everyone sat quietly watching and listening.  
"Happy new year's guys." You whispered.  
"Happy new year." They repeated.  
The night outside was filled with snow and fireworks, the wind blowing coldly at the windows. But inside, there was love and joy and that was all that mattered. As you all fell asleep, you sent a silent thanks to the universe for giving you the new family of the BAU. You moved closer to Hotch on the couch, and he wrapped an arm around you gently. Everything was right, and it was the beginning of a beautiful new year.


End file.
